What I wish more than anything for my folx who are mourning the verdict in the murder of Philando Castile is that right now, at this moment that you are being held. Not just in someone's arms or pressed against a warm body, but that you have someone and somewhere to go/be that is a healing space specifically for you.
Some will call someone. Some will talk about it on social media. Some will journal. Some will watch the news. Some will go to church and let out travails to God. Some will turn on comforting music. Some will yell profanities at people who resemble his murderer. Some will cry. Some will lay in their bed, not having the energy to articulate their pain and just go to sleep. Some will pop pills, smoke a blunt, or take a shot.
You MUST expel the pain and agony from your body. This is a response to prolonged trauma.
Letting it out is the catharsis. Your body is making room so that it can feel again. And it's needed so we can wake up and bear another day in America.
Whatever you do, feel it. It is ok. You don't have to mask your feelings, for anyone.
And know that your fears around police, distrust of the legal system, anger at non-whites who perpetuate white supremacy, news organizations that are complicit in propagating stereotypes and tropes, friends/family members who are unaware how this decision hits you so hard because you see your own humanity, both your identity and experience inextricably ties to his, and rage towards people who affirm and support this decision are valid. And in these moments, you have the right to distance yourself as far as you need to feel loved, safe, and held.
This one, like all of the others, hurts.
Let's make sure to hold space for each other.
Lay back, I got you